Last year, Chris Brogan coined the phrase “the audacity of free” to refer to the entitlement his “friends” feel they have about getting free entry into conferences that he and his team spend months to organize. Somehow, individuals forget along the way that costs accrue when considering the venue, food, exhibit hall, and the staff required on hand to run the event smoothly. At the end of the day, contrary to seemingly popular belief, the hosts aren’t the only ones pocketing the money.

Yet with social media, there’s a perception that it’s easy to score freebies. After all, we become easily connected and six degrees of separation is slowly becoming three degrees.

Social media has introduced incentives to the online space, encouraging others to connect with your business. It shouldn’t be that way, but that’s the way it is. You want something from someone, so you need to compel them to engage or they’d have no reason to. In fact, in a test a colleague of mine ran with sponsored advertisements, the incentive-based campaign was much more successful than the original information-only campaign. But many individuals take this concept too far, expecting a freebie at every turn. And unfortunately, social media is at fault for breeding this mentality and causing it to spread.

Let Me Pick Your Brain for a Bit

Those of us who eat, sleep, breathe, and even bleed social media often get asked out to “free lunches” so that a “friend” can pick our brains and ultimately use this free advice to get some material gain out of it. And Chris is right: while seen as a kind gesture by the giver, it’s exploitative. After all, hourly consulting fees are typically much more costly than a “free lunch” plus the travel time it took to meet up.

It’s shocking, almost appalling, to see the reactions of individuals who are asked respectfully to pay consulting rates for these “free” brainstorming sessions, whether over a meal or on the phone. I’m not sure where we’ve gone wrong here, but something needs to change. Time is money, and inquiries are usually made to those possessing a certain level of expertise that only is available to those who have had years of training, which is also time and money (and even debt for some!). That lunch and the information provided therein will often benefit your bottom line. Making a payment for that should really not be so difficult. However, while haggling is expected in the economy of today, trying to get everything for free is downright unethical, nor is it fair to the person who poured their heart and soul into the advice that you’ll merely milk from them without any reservation.

There’s a Lot of Value Here Already

I won’t deny it: I want Techipedia to be packed with value, to show you what I know and how I can help you. A few high profile folks have even called my readers lucky for getting great content without any up front monetary commitment. (If you want great beginner social media content behind a pay wall, check out Exploring Social Media, a project I am working on with Jason Falls and some other great minds.) This comes despite people asking for more under the assumption that I “must” be making money on this site and therefore owe my readers more. (Do you see any banner ads anywhere?)

I’ve spent seventeen years in the social space. That’s a long time and before most of you probably even owned a computer that was connected to the Internet. I’ve been working in consulting for a little less, but it’s my job. It’s what I do (among other projects). And my fees pay the rent, keeps me connected to the Internet so that I can serve my clients, and covers other expenses such as staff and business expenses. All of this doesn’t come for free for me either.

Books Take Time to Write

Last week, a Twitter user asked a really blunt but surprising question about how to download my book (legally) for free. It was nice to request a legal copy, but there isn’t any. My book is less than $20 on Amazon, which makes for a great deal and covers years of practice and training. The investment could benefit your business by a lot more than $20 in financial gain.

Books aren’t a breeze to write and anyone who is an author might tell you that book writing is some of the hardest and busiest work they’ll ever do. It took me nearly 1000 hours that could have been spent on other clients. Did anyone know that authors make perhaps a dollar off the sale of every book? As much as I’ve wanted to be an author since the age of 5, I understood why my mother tried dissuading me at that tender and impressionable age: most authors simply don’t make enough money. Surprisingly, some individuals who have yet to build any type of relationship with an author still expect to get a break. Whether or not it’s my choice — and in book publishing, there are other parties involved beyond just the writer — it’s just the wrong question to ask.

Last week, when the Twitter user asked the question about the free downloadable copy, I gave her a straightforward unemotional-and-without-thought “there is none” answer, which is typical of the types of responses I provide on Twitter (I’m only wordy in blog posts ). Consequently, I got chewed out both on Twitter and following that on her own blog, telling me that I should have responded nicely and recommended the library. Somehow, people think it’s okay to ask an inappropriate question and get a more-than-grateful response.

Life won’t always hand you breaks. Those of us who are successful in our space usually have worked really hard to get here. Social media should not continue to give off the mindset that it’s easier to get things for free. Sadly, it absolutely has.

I’ll Respect My Time. Will You?

Lisa Barone made a really good point last month when she said that her productivity went up as a result of respecting her time. While her specific circumstances were different, the premise is the same. Most of us are busy, and lately, the extent of the “busy”-ness for me is about helping a business’s bottom line. I’d like to help others but feel the need to repeat my stance against giving people who do not know me and who do not even really warm up to me the benefit of a free ride while still charging customers who have been with me for years. And time is too finite to give everyone free advice. I wish the world worked that way, because I love to help businesses. After all, that’s why Techipedia continues to provide really great informational content almost weekly. It’s why I respond to every comment on my posts. It’s why I reply to every email often within minutes. At the end of the day, though, we ALL have families to feed.

Expertise Comes at a Price

I’m sure I’m speaking for all social media consultants (and other Internet Marketing strategists) out there when I say that social media advice has come at the cost of learning through trial and error for us, and the more and more times we’re asked to give out freebies, the more numb we get to the request. I really hope this post drives the point home that freebies, even a $50 lunch, don’t really benefit anyone but the receiver. (Most of us would be eating lunch anyway!)

Not Everything is Free

I always am fascinated myself by looking at people doing dirty jobs — that guy cleaning the bathroom in Madison Square Garden definitely isn’t a happy camper — and realizing that the only thing that governs people toward these tasks is financial benefit. Almost everything everyone does in the business world, be it a regular transaction, tourism, or travel, has some financial element to it. Money makes the world go round. Chris puts it really nicely when he says, “But free is a choice, and it’s not your buyers who decide this, no matter what we like to think in social media kumbaya-ville. Free is beautiful, and costs are part of life.”

There are exceptions to the rule, of course, and there always will be. But setting up the expectation and making demands for freebies puts unnecessary stress on the giver, and that’s just not the correct way to build a real relationship.

Now it’s Your Turn

How have you handled the requests for freebies? Do you have any system that has worked? Failed? Sound off in the comments.

Photos provided by Shutterstock.

[ The Audacity of Free: The Products and Services Edition is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

Read more about The New Community Rules: Marketing on the Social Web, a primer to social media marketing. Or you can subscribe to the Techipedia RSS feed.

Just last year, I became a mother for the first time. My son just turned one (time flies, doesn’t it?) and after being a full time mom and performing various social media marketing tasks throughout, I’ve learned that there are many parallels that can be taken from parenthood that also apply to social media marketing. Let’s take a look at the similarities.

You Need to Do it All the Time

True social media marketing — that is, connecting with your customers and prospects — is a consistent and regular task. One-off campaigns can help drive viral success, but social media is not a “set it and forget it” type of initiative. You need to consistently work at building relationships and not let them be. And you need to be consistently monitoring the space. Silence can hurt you. If you’re not following the conversation regularly, your customers might just flock to your competitors instead.

Similarly, as much as it might feel compelling to neglect your child to perhaps play in the virtual space or to do anything else for that matter, you can’t take lengthy breaks from your kid. Parenthood is a full time job for either the parent or a caretaker. You can’t just give birth to a baby and forget her either. She needs your attention just like your audience does.

You Don’t Get a Vacation

In the online space, there will always be some sort of mention online that is applicable to you in some way. Maybe it’s on Twitter. Maybe it’s on a forum. Maybe it’s on Tip’d. The Internet never sleeps and neither should your online initiatives. As someone who is required to monitor your brand, there will never be a day when all is quiet. It’s kind of why I don’t really take vacations.

Once you’re a parent, there’s no going turning back. As Tony Hung once told me, you can’t put your kid back where he came from. You don’t exactly get a vacation from your kid. Once you’re a parent, you can’t distance yourself from that role. And if you do go on a real vacation, when you get back from that trip, you’ll need to tend to your child yet again and most likely address issues that arose when you were gone.

It’s Going to Be Difficult at First

When you first give birth to a child, you’re in for a challenge. I must have heard the standard “so, are you getting sleep yet?” question a hundred times. (Thankfully, now I am.) For the first few months, a new parent has to worry about the constant waking and sleeping that interrupts your day, regular feedings (and what to do when the baby doesn’t eat), buying new clothes every 2 weeks, doing laundry 3 times more often than you’re used to, the frequent crying, the regular diaper changes — and that’s just about your child. Think about the dynamics that will change with your work environment (maternity/paternity leave, perhaps) and even with your existing partners or family members. Things are changing and they’re changing permanently.

If this is your first time diving in the social media waters, it’s going to be difficult to make a splash. You’ll be creating that Twitter account for the first time, and you’ll have to grow followers. Your Facebook Fan page will have 0 fans. That’s not really convincing social proof. Then, when you’re joining a community for the first time, you’ll need to study the users and slowly build relationships with them. They won’t be easily trusting — after all, you’re probably there to market — so it may be especially difficult getting people on board with your marketing initiatives.

But as you establish yourself, and as your child grows up, it gets easier. No doubt, it will be hard at first. Just keep on trudging and you’ll start seeing breakthroughs.

The Relationship Grows Stronger Each Day

When you meet your customers and prospects online, you’re usually doing so because of some connection with them. There’s some common ground. That’s only the beginning. As you consistently interact with them, offering value and reason to continue following you, that relationship — and even the brand awareness — grows stronger. This is especially true of other social networks, especially ones where you were originally untrusted. MrBabyMan, Digg’s top user, was an unknown once. Through hard work and dedication, Andy has proven himself and people look up to him. Today, he has an incredibly huge following.

Some mothers give birth and don’t immediately form a bond with their child. Others do. I was one of those parents who was in denial during my pregnancy but fell in love immediately following his birth. Yet, it’s incredible to see how that bond grows stronger each and every day as he begins to understand his surroundings and as I realize how lucky I am.

You Need to Nurture It

A newborn is unable to care for itself. It can’t be fed, it can’t clean up after itself, and it definitely won’t like you if you don’t burp it. A regular daily regimen often entails the caretaker role of feeding the child, changing the diapers, burping the baby, changing the clothes, bathing the baby, teaching the baby new things, taking the baby to the doctor or outdoors, putting him down for a nap — the list goes on and on. It’s hard work. And you, as the parent, are responsible for these tasks.

Many companies that have not embraced social media marketing often do so because of the fear of an uncontrolled message. That’s why social media marketers reassure these companies that they may not be able to change what’s being said (nor may they necessarily like it), but they can nurture the perception that people have of companies (see letter N). Yes, you’ll have to work at it, but you can do it.

Sometimes There Will Be Bumps

Sometimes there will be parts of the job that just aren’t fun. Your child may get sick, he doesn’t like his green beans, he might be very unhappy when he’s teething, or he might have a rough patch and revert to a previous sleeping pattern that isn’t ideal. As a parent, your job is just to stick with it. It’s not the best scenario, but hopefully, it’s only temporary.

Similarly, your social media marketing initiatives might sound great until someone goes out and ruins it for you. Perhaps you’ve prepared really well for what you thought would be a great viral video campaign, only to find out that the audience does not care in the slightest. As a social media marketer, you might be ill-prepared for these unpleasant experiences. Still, though, you trudge through it. It isn’t going to be a walk in the park; everything is a learning experience. Life gets better.

Conclusion

Parenthood for me has been an incredible journey, one that I realize now I appreciate wholeheartedly. On the other hand, I’ve been doing the online thing for more than fifteen years. Sometimes it’s tough and requires more attention of me, but it is also incredibly rewarding. The daily gains are substantial.

None of this is easy, but social media marketing isn’t supposed to be. Neither is parenthood. Working at it, though, is extremely powerful, both for the relationships you build online and the ones you grow offline.

Update 6/8/10: Natalie Bourre posted the toddler version of this post with more great parallels!

Photos (with the exception of the first one) provided by Shutterstock.

[ 6 Things Parenthood Taught Me About Social Media Marketing is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

Read more about The New Community Rules: Marketing on the Social Web, a primer to social media marketing. Or you can subscribe to the Techipedia RSS feed.

Here’s a truism that Facebook PR is not sure how to readily admit. There really aren’t 350 million members on Facebook. Take my husband’s grandfather as an example. He’s an 89-year-old guy who doesn’t really have his passwords all in the same place, nor does he have an acute sense of hearing to realize that when his grandchildren say “hey grandpa, I’m making a Facebook account for you!” he should respond with “Oh, I already have one.” Consequently, the guy has three Facebook profiles, all of which were created for him by three different members of his family.

Got any family members who boast more than one Facebook profile? You’re likely not alone. Now consider your industry. I have several friends who have both a personal profile and a business profile. These are users who like Facebook but find it rather difficult to merge the personal and professional into one cohesive online identity. I’m sure the internet marketing industry isn’t alone in this regard.

Let’s now consider the hundreds of profiles that you’ve seen that don’t identify a person at all. Surely you have been befriended by those people representing “WWW [yourdomainhere] COM” or “Green Seo.” These are individuals posing as entities who assume personal profiles. You know, Facebook actually prohibits these types of accounts in their Terms of Service, but Facebook’s staff doesn’t actually act upon these infractions, apparently. With over “350 million members” on Facebook, it’s too difficult to isolate all of the rule breakers.

These examples above illustrate a typical usability question faced by Facebook users (well, except for Grandpa). Despite the fact that Facebook has the most customizable privacy settings of all social networks (though we could argue with their effectiveness in a whole other post), people don’t like maintaining a “business” identity on the same profile as their “personal” (fun?) identity.  As a result, relationship-building becomes a challenge.

The Facebook Friending Dilemma

One of the questions I get asked very often is how employees are supposed to cope with incoming friend requests from their clients, bosses, and individuals they have a working relationship with through their place of employ.  While there’s no clearly defined rule (it’s a question of personal preference), I usually urge the person not to be resentful or offended if the relationship gets ported over to a professional network or other public space (such as a Facebook Fan page).

I actually practice what I preach.

See, I’m one of those Facebook users who have been on the service since February 2004, which is quite a long time considering Facebook was open to about three schools at the time that I signed up.  Back then, my Facebook friends were mostly connected to me via my neighborhood through religious affiliations or though college or primary school.  There were no business colleagues on my friends list.

In due time, that started to change as I built face-to-face relationships with co-workers and then started building friendships in the industry.  It helped that Facebook became an open network that invited everyone in.  It was both exciting because I could know more about my business partners but scary because I would have to start ignoring Facebook friend requests in order to be true to my reasons for being there: to build strong interpersonal relationships with people who I actually know and who really matter.

How I Use Facebook

Facebook, to me, is about maintaining real relationships. With every single individual I am connected to, I want to feel comfortable responding to a status message or a photo update. And if you’re my Facebook friend, you should feel comfortable doing the same. However, many people connect and forget. That’s not how I want to use the network, and that’s why I won’t accept your friend request.

A few weeks ago, jwz posted a great piece on how to access Facebook via a feed reader. To keep on top of friends’ happenings on the network, I subscribed to the relevant updates. I now have status updates in my feed, and finally, I can see both happy and sad news. It has helped strengthen that friendship bond;  I can now easily keep in touch with friends and those who are serious about using the network to keep their peers in the know about what is happening to them every day.

I posted about how I network on Facebook (among other networks), over two years ago, but I have over 700 pending Facebook friend requests from people I do not know. Many of these incoming friend requests (with the exception of possibly 0.05% of the requests) have no introduction, which I personally find a social media etiquette misstep — especially when I have no idea who you are.  For the others who took the effort to connect, I am thankful that you thought of me, but if I don’t know you, I hope to get to know you in the future. We’re just not there yet.

Much has changed in the last 2 years.  I’m now constantly neck-deep in social media projects, am working with amazing people, and I’m passionate about the people I work with and the work I do.  Facebook has become more open than ever and everyone has decided to join. In fact, I noticed substantial changes in my friendships on Facebook, so I decided to update the Facebook charts I prepared in 2007 to provide an updated look of my friendship breakdown for January 2010.

As I prepared these charts, I unfriended a handful (52) of Facebook friends, especially some who befriended me when I was more accepting of Facebook relationships (before it was saturated with people I didn’t know). Why?  We never got to know each other, and nothing happened after that initial friend request.  Facebook has facilities that help foster real friendships, and when these facilities are ignored in the context of the friendship, the relationship does not feel genuine. If you befriended me in the last 2-3 years and have done absolutely nothing to maintain that friendship, you were axed.  It’s not you and it’s not me; it’s us.  There was nothing between us and the relationship dissolved.

Today, my 1,508 Facebook connections are broken into the following categories:

• Extra-curricular Programs refer to friends I met on vacation, through summer programs, or though other related activities.
• Neighbor typically refers to those living nearby but may also be affiliated through religious organizations.
• Industry and social media connections are further broken into additional categories, as seen in the charts below.

Consider the difference between my friendship circle in 2007 (graph featured below).

My industry (internet marketing/blogging) connections (who are 99.7% of my pending friend requests) have saturated the space, and more of my co-workers have signed up. (It might just be that I’ve been able to work with more amazing people.) I removed all my “Random” connections for reasons specified earlier. Digg is now part of social media and will be explained in the final chart.

Let’s look at the industry and social media subcategories.  First, here’s the breakdown of industry colleagues that I currently have on Facebook.

As you can see in the chart above, I further broke down my Industry peers to explain the origination of these friendships.

• Some of these friends have mutual real-life friends (outside typical industry connections).
• Many of them (more than half) were individuals I met at search conferences, but other conferences (SXSW, events that Mashable was involved in in the capacity of host or media sponsor, and the first IZEAFest) also represented my Industry connections. With regards to Search Conference, I refer to Search Marketing Expo, PubCon, and Search Engine Strategies, but I also met a few people at Affiliate Summit.
• Some friendships originated through work-related communications that lasted a long period of time, so a relationship developed, was enhanced, and was solidified with the acceptance of a friend request.
• Other industry connections that have simply flourished since the very “early days” of social media.  I may have met these individuals by chance (long-standing relationship) or through the blogosphere or forums.

In nearly all of these cases, I have met my friends face-to-face.

The chart above illustrates the breakdown of the “social media” friends.  These are friends who have no direct ties to the industry, but in using social networks, we’ve formed close bonds and friendships.

• Digg is by far the largest; as a former “top user” of the service, I built strong relationships with employees and users of the social news site.
• There were other typical social networks in this grouping as well, including Flickr, FriendFeed, Kirtsy, Mixx, Plurk, StumbleUpon, Tip’d, and Twitter.
• I also consider bloggers who have forged real-life relationships with me to have connected via social media.  This is different from forums/blogosphere of the previous chart because they are not connected to me in the search marketing or social media capacity.
• Both “IRC” and “Forums” that I reference relate in this chart to the pre-social media days. And yes, IRC does refer to Internet Relay Chat.
• In the early 90s, I was involved with AOL both as remote staff and as a participant, so I still maintain friendships that originated from these old hubs.
• (In case you’re wondering who Craigslist is, he’s a guy I sold an elliptical trainer to a few years ago.  It turns out that we have several mutual real-life friends.)

These friendships are a mix of people I’ve met face-to-face but also consist of individuals I have just communicated with for such a long time that we’ll easily hit it off when we actually meet in person. There are only a small number of individuals I have not met in person on this list.

As you can see by the breakdown, Facebook is about real relationships, and when I look at your name, I want be able to justify that friendship.  Facebook is an extension of the real world in the virtual space.

Evaluate Your Connections

Knowing who someone is when seeing their profile without having to look at their place of employment or common friends is important.  If you have Facebook friends that you can’t place from a hole in the wall, it might be a good idea to purge.  It’s totally up to you.

When you connect with someone on Facebook, ask yourself, What do these online connections signify? Are you establishing a friendship so that you will do something with this individual in the future, or are you simply establishing a friendship just because you can?

Why LinkedIn Makes More Sense than Facebook

If the prospect of friendship makes you feel antsy, especially from individuals you are not comfortable letting in, it’s not awkward or rude to suggest that the online relationship be established elsewhere.  LinkedIn is the likely choice because it is a “set it and forget it” social network. There’s not much you can do with the connection once it’s confirmed. On LinkedIn, once you’re connected, that’s usually it. Someone might request a recommendation of you or contact you via messaging facilities, but you can’t do much to deface update your colleague’s profile or build upon that relationship in the confines of the social network.

On Facebook, however, there are hundreds of opportunities to upload pictures, comment on statuses, tag people in notes — and yet, among business professionals (outside of overt “no-no” marketing tactics spam), that kind of activity is typically ignored. Many business people just don’t do anything with Facebook with their business colleagues. That’s why I consider Facebook a personal network for real friends. Knowing someone online (or offline) doesn’t grant you an “in” to their personal space.

If You Insist Upon Using Facebook

Let’s face it. Facebook has its pros. (LinkedIn does too, and it’s a terrific professional network.) I’ve decided to create a public Facebook page to be updated regularly that broadcasts what business colleagues are often looking at me for anyway: social media news. The public page is one of two Facebook pages (the latter being for my book) that I plan to maintain to share fun social media information and tidbits. The profiles will both feature different stories — and they won’t be about me.

For a little bit of history, I created a fan page for myself when Facebook first launched its Fan pages. It was an experiment in personal branding and a way to have fun to connect with people I otherwise may never know. The page mostly was stagnant for awhile, but after Facebook’s page redesigned that made it look like I was talking to myself, I decided to kick it up a notch. Neil Patel provided several compelling reasons as to why I should. I recently invited some actual Facebook friends who I thought would find the information therein interesting — I hope you saw it as a way to connect in the professional sense (and nothing else — thank you Curtis)

I must emphasize that my Facebook page is not about me, but it addresses this age-old debate about how to — within Facebook’s Terms of Service — handle the personal and the professional. Since most people who want to connect with me on Facebook know me in a more professional capacity, I will be using my Facebook page to engage them professionally. (As it is, my personal page is mostly about my kid anyway. Would you really comment on those updates? Sure, some of you might…)

Looking Ahead

If I don’t connect with you right now, don’t take it personally. One day, I hope to meet every single person who added me as a Facebook friend in the last few years (and those who continue to do so) face to face. I want to put a face to a name and build a relationship that will last. Those are my goals for my current set of friends and I hold everyone to the same expectations. All friend requests will remain open indefinitely, because I’m hoping one day to get to seal the deal and make the friendship a reality.

Until then, connect with me on LinkedIn or on my Facebook page. I’d be honored to have you join me.

[ Want to Friend Me on Facebook? Please Use My Public Page or LinkedIn Instead is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

Read more about The New Community Rules: Marketing on the Social Web, a primer to social media marketing. Or you can subscribe to the Techipedia RSS feed.

This post is a little personal in nature, but I’m sure if you read through the end, you’ll enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed telling it. In fact, I’ve been meaning to tell this story for nearly two years.

In the last few years, I’ve taken the liberty of doing more than just blogging — I’ve been trying to get to know the people who have inspired me most (and that list isn’t cumulative!). I don’t necessarily expect to meet with those folks immediately; often, these powerful relationships are formed online, and I then try to learn what I can about the blogger himself/herself and follow up, normally at a conference or industry event. I do my best to put a face to a name — a face that I can see beyond just a digital format.

But sometimes there are surprises in every single meeting.

I decided one day to read more about self-improvement and marketing blogger, Jonathan Fields (and author of Career Renegade). The date was December 12, 2007, and I was excited to hear that Jonathan was a New Yorker like me. According to his blog’s “About” page at the time, you could find him simply by screaming his name in the very large Bryant Park in Manhattan. You know, with 8 million people living in NYC, you’d think this is no big deal, but there’s more to the story.

I dropped him a line. “You live in NY? I didn’t know that,” I said. But I added, “I passed Bryant Park last night on the D train,” noting that I don’t quite live in Manhattan, but rather, the Bronx. Jonathan’s response was still possible, but not necessarily that unexpected: “Me too!” With Bronx being a big borough in NYC, we went more granular. “Too funny,” he responded when I told him we lived in the same neighborhood in the Bronx. And then we found out we live on the same street.

…and in the same apartment complex, one floor above the other.

If that’s fate or irony or whatever, I don’t know, but in my experience of using the Internet for work and pleasure for over 15 years, that is one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. I’m finally meeting bloggers that I’ve admired for some time in my very own backyard. In a city of 8.3 million.

I once said that social media mimics real life relationships. But take it a step further: your online interactions can translate into something incredibly powerful offline. Nineteen months later, Jon and I are great friends, and we make an effort to meet up every so often.

If nothing else, I hope this story has inspired you to reach out and to value the relationships you forge online. You never know who you’ll meet, and it could form a deep and meaningful friendship that never would have been possible if you don’t make that effort. In the end, the bond between those immersed in the social media sphere is a bond that exists nowhere else.

[ The Importance of Networking on the Internet is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

Read more about The New Community Rules: Marketing on the Social Web, a primer to social media marketing. Or you can subscribe to the Techipedia RSS feed.

Many of you have asked where I’ve been over the past few months.   I recently wrapped up writing a book on social media marketing for individuals to large businesses entitled The New Community Rules (Amazon link) and the book is slated for a late June/early July release.

But in even bigger news, two weeks ago today, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Announcing… David Jacob Weinberg!

Little David (who is named after my beloved Grandpa David) has been a bundle of joy so far (and a handful as well, but when are newborns not?!).

Thank you to all my internet friends for your outpouring of support (especially in light of the tweet I sent less than an hour after my son was born); I did so while the doctor was yelling at me NOT to use the phone … but who am I to listen when I was so excited to share such news? And in case you are wondering, my good friend Sam has set up a gift drive, a totally unexpected but appreciated gesture. Thanks Sam — and thanks to those who have contributed!

Hopefully we’ll see little David on social media sites in the upcoming months.

[ Announcing the Newest Social Media Prince is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

Read more about The New Community Rules: Marketing on the Social Web, a primer to social media marketing. Or you can subscribe to the Techipedia RSS feed.

This is a sponsored post by Sears but the thoughts within are mine and mine alone.

As a blogger, you have the potential to reach a tremendous audience. As an individual, perhaps a company or an entrepreneur who is looking to spread the word about a new product launch, you have the potential to keep marketing costs down by reaching out to bloggers and having them talk about your product. One of the best ways to achieve this goal is through blogger outreach, which typically includes more than just sending out your press release: give the blogger the opportunity to try your product. Send them your book. Or your beanbag chair. Or give them full download rights to your new software product without restrictions.

You can do something else entirely. As part of the Don’t Just Give a Gift, Grant a Wish campaign by the Sears department store, I had the opportunity to participate in a shopping spree to help me or someone else realize our dreams. The idea behind this initiative was that I was given a $500 Sears gift card to “Grant a Wish” for myself, a loved one, or charity. At the same time, I was to photograph my experience in the store.

At first, I had no idea what to do. I was recently moved by “The Secret Millionaire” and wanted to realize the dreams of someone who may not be able to buy anything at all — so I decided to make sure my own purchases included gifts for young children.? After walking up and down the halls of the whole department store, my husband and I finally settled on gathering a shopping cart full of toys that we will end up donating to cancer-stricken children just in time for the holidays.

I also found myself being fascinated by the number of tools available for the DIY (do-it yourself) enthusiast.? I ended up buying a much needed tool that will hopefully allow me to remove stripped screws so that I can free up a trapped IDE hard drive in an external case.? Seriously — Sears has aisles upon aisles of drills, drill bits, and other thingamajigs that I wouldn’t even know how to use.

Still, though, I’m happy that I was able to use this experience to give to those less fortunate.? It’s such a perfect time to consider gift giving (and wish-wishing) for those who you may not know.? I’m sure it will put a smile on someone else’s face.

Giving Back, Contest Style

Do you want to make a wish for a special someone in your family or perhaps a few people at once? With IZEA’s help, you can also help realize the dream of someone you love or care about. Check out three possible three gift packages that I’ve crafted to make that happen:

The Family Fun Package
- Casio 8.1MP Digital Camera EX-Z80 (link)
- SanDisk 4GB SDHC Memory Card (link)
- Casio Leather Pouch Case for Exilim S and Z Series Digital Cameras (link)
- Emerson CDG Karaoke System – iPod Compatible (link)
- Fisher-Price Digital Arts & Crafts Studio (link)
- Harvard Electronic Single Shootout Basketball (link)
- HoMedics Bubble Spa Footbath (link)
- One For All 8-Device Learning Upgradeable Universal Remote (link)

The Camping Package
- Kenmore 596 square inch 3 Burner Gas Grill with Side Burner (link)
- Craftsman 4 pc. Barbecue Gift Set with Bottle Opener (link)
- (2) Coleman Hibernation Sleeping Bag (link)
- Craftsman Toolbox Cooler (link)
- (2) On The Edge Marketing Folding Chair (Flame) (link)
- Northwest Territory Dome Tent (link)

The Pamper Herself Spa Relaxation Package
- Conair Double Sided Lighted Mirror (link)
- Conair Foot Vibes Massaging Slippers for Women (link)
- HoMedics Therapist Select Shiatsu Message (link)
- Rosetti Handbag Ring Tote (link)
- Relic Flap Checkbook Clutch Wallet (link)
- Metaphor Beaded Satin Clutch (link)
- Colorworks Fantastic Beauty Fan (link)
- Royce Leather Travel & Grooming Kit (link)
- 1/2 ct t.w. Diamond Composite Stud Earrings, 10K white gold (link)
- Seiko Ladies Calendar Day Date Watch with White Dial and Two-Tone Link Band (link)

There are three ways to win one of the above packages:

• Leave a comment on this blog. Let me know the name of the package you are most interested in.
• Use Twitter! Simply tweet out the following message: RT @tamar please grant my wish to win the #Sears (package name) – tweet to win your own wish http://urlbrief.com/5ead6c
• If you’re a blogger, write a post about the contest and link back to this post.? If you proceed down this route, make sure to leave a comment here letting me know that you did.? Include the URL to your post.

You can enter up to three times (each Tweet, comment, or blog post counts as a single entry). The winner will be chosen at random and will receive the package s/he selected.? The contest ends on December 23rd, so be sure to get your entries in ASAP. Please be sure to read the official rules for more information about the contest.

Good luck!

[ Contest: Make a Wish for Someone Else this Holiday Season (and the Power of Blogger Outreach) is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

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Many tech geeks will often say that their first forays into cyberspace began with a 300 baud modem and a BBS. I’m a little younger than that (finally, I can say that!), but I was an early adopter of social networks from when I first opened my 3.5″ floppy of Promenade (later to be called AOL) and signed up to use the service.

I used Prodigy, but I never was a fan of the randomly generated alphanumeric username and didn’t stick around. On the other hand, my first ever interaction on AOL was with someone who was separated from my social network by only one degree. I was 12 at the time, it was 1993, and AOL cost $5.95/hour (after a flat rate of $9.95 which included 5 hours of online usage).

One morning before school, I logged onto AOL and joined a chat room for the very first time. It was around 6:20am (and it was also 1993), so the rooms were relatively empty with the exception of two other chatty gentlemen. One was 50 (as a twelve year old, I actually remember saying “you’re old!” to him and receiving a shocked response), and the other didn’t live further than 20 minutes away from me. Ironically, he and I attended the same school (though he was double my age) and we even had the same teachers. At that point, I already knew I had a future of doing something online, though as a sixth-grader, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. (Fortunately for me, while I never met that guy, I met other online friends in real life, as AOL was also safe at the time. Early adopters are typically normal people; the network hadn’t been infiltrated by people looking to exploit young children until the momentum grew.)

My first social “network” was also on AOL. I became a big fan of playing games (bingo especially) at a little hub on AOL called RabbitJack’s Casino, which was considered a unique community within the AOL borders with a close-knit group of people from all walks of life. By the time I was fifteen, I had encountered a more diverse crowd than most kids my age. I still even keep in touch with a few special individuals from those days.

I spent time on AOL as remote staff, growing my connections online (and some interestingly would later become colleagues) until I dropped AOL entirely to focus on my studies. That was almost a decade ago.

Fifteen years have passed, and while much has changed technologically, the concepts that animated web users back in the old days remain as relevant as ever. Social media was always social, just not with that funny name. Forums existed well before I was born, after all. They evolved into sites with graphical interfaces. Whereas everything used to cost money (my highest AOL bill was $267.48 in 1995), advertisers are now paying for programs so that we can use them and enjoy the applications without shelling out a dime, and web services providers are seeing the value of being free for users by monetizing their sites instead with ad revenue. At the same time, the concept of “free” is empowering individuals to become publishers, as any individual can now harness free software online to create his/her little on place on the web. Blogs are the new medium for a person to talk about areas in which the individual has exhibited some level of expertise or even to articulate thoughts on subject matters that interest nobody but a small group of people. The freedom is now in the hands of any consumer with an internet connection and computer.

Traditional media is being rejected as individuals are now often heard (and sometimes rather loudly) when they speak. Radio is being listened to online, and podcasts are popular among technological savvy folks. Whereas one needed an expensive VHS cassette recorder in 1993 to create a home video, even $40 cell phones (or digital cameras) can capture quality images and video that can be placed online for a much larger audience than ever before. It’s no surprise that everyone’s aiming for their fifteen minutes of fame (though they are possibly risking their futures because of that desire). Watching real television online, too, is becoming increasingly more mainstream.

Fifteen years ago, the Yellow Pages in our house was torn and tattered from frequent use. I was recently cleaning out a cabinet in my apartment and tossed out a 2005 Yellow Pages that was in pristine condition. Today, search engines answer the questions that phone books needed to solve a decade and a half ago. Today, Facebook or MySpace will help you locate lost family or reunite with old friends. Today, you can pull up a map online and print driving directions instead of phoning your desired destination for directions (and then writing each individual step on paper). Today’s printers are also faster and more reliable than the dot matrix printers of the nineties.

Today, you’re not viewed as a geek when you say that you spend a lot of your time online. In 1999, when I graduated high school, my last will and testament in my high school year book was “to have an online wedding.” (I didn’t.) Today, nearly all of my high school friends are online, and most of them maintain Facebook or MySpace accounts.

Computers are getting smaller, cheaper, and more efficient. Our family’s first computer (which wasn’t net-equipped) was an Apple IIgs which my father purchased in 1987. The first computer which I could actually call my own was that little IBM PS/1 PC I received at age 12. The cost: over $4k for a 386SX/25mhz with 170MB of hard drive space, 2MB RAM, a 2400 baud modem, and a 13″ monitor. I’m typing this blog post on a $750 Dell Inspiron 700m laptop (which I purchased nearly 3 years ago) which is lighter than the keyboard I used in 1993 and sports a high resolution despite its 12″ screen size. Beyond a little notebook computer, more and more people are starting to take advantage of mobile technologies, particularly within their cell phones, to create and produce content. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote a full blog post on my Palm Treo (though I don’t recommend it); the Palm Treo has a 2GB miniSD card in its slot, which is 12 times the size of that hard drive I was using in 1993.

Fifteen years ago, scanners were few and far between, but that’s what you needed in order to get your photographs to display on your desktop. Today, digital cameras can be had for as little as a few bucks. Fifteen years ago, optical media was virtually unheard of and the first consumer-friendly CD-RWs supported up to 650MB of media (for a hefty cost). Today, high-definition data means that one can store up to 50GB of data on a single optical disc of the same exact size. Zip drives are now obsolete; the latest trend is the pen drive (which makes for some great schwag).

I also have a confession to make. Fifteen years ago, h-t-t-p colon slash slash was foreign to me. (I still slap myself on the forehead when I recall tossing out a magazine from the Compuserve days that featured the best websites of that time.) I simply didn’t know what http:// meant, as the protocol sounded so … strange. For me, it was all about keywords and about navigating to content on AOL. (It was faster for me, anyway.)

Old technologies aren’t dying down; they’re just expanding. Twitter is the new chat room, but IRC still remains a popular choice behind services like Ustream and Y! Live. Email is still email (but doesn’t cost $0.25 to send like it did on Prodigy in the early nineties), but now it can be sent and accessed on mobile devices with the click of a button. For the younger generation, IM is replacing the phone, but for those who can’t break old habits easily, the phone is also moving to the computer through services such as Skype.

The technology landscape is changing, but old themes still remain relevant: the internet is a social place that will allow individuals to engage with others and establish new relationships on a common ground.

I just shared my own story about how I got here. When and how did you make it into the lovely World Wide Web? Feel free to add your story to the comments or in your own blog post.

[ Fifteen Years of Online Social Interactions is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

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After months (and I mean months) of planning, the blog redesign for techipedia is finally live.

This wouldn’t have been possible if not for a few people, so I’d like to thank them for their awesome work.

First, thanks to designer Patrick Winfield of 10e20 for the excellent graphic design work. Pat was very patient, and as you can tell, he did an excellent job. Also, thanks to Chris Winfield for giving me a hand on this project.

Second, the backend coding, for the most part, was handled by web developer Cesar Serna, who also did a fantastic job.

Thank you so much for your hard work!

I know there will still be some tweaks that will be made in the upcoming days, but I’d love your feedback on the new design.

[ Techipedia Redesign is Finally Live is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

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As I was traveling on my last of three conferences, Chris Kieff tagged me on the 4×4 meme that’s going around. The idea of this meme is somewhat like previous memes, but it’s four times full of fun. You’re given four questions and you need to provide four answers. Then, you need to top it off by tagging four people. Here goes…

4 Things I Have Done in the Past 4 Years

Clearly, the past four years have been the most enjoyable years of my life. Here’s why:

1. Just over three years ago, I got married to a wonderful guy named Brian.
2. I’ve traveled more than ever before. Brian and I celebrated our honeymoon in London. I went to the West Coast for the first time to attend search engine conferences, with trips to Seattle, San Jose (twice!), and Las Vegas.
3. I started writing for some of my favorite blogs in the industries and topics I’m most passionate about.
4. I started a blog about my schwag addiction (okay, this was just a fun tidbit I couldn’t pass up!)

4 Jobs I’ve Had

1. Right after college, I worked for a few months in tech support at a forex company in the Empire State Building. I remember working there on Thanksgiving Day and having a super awesome view of the Macy’s Day Parade.
2. I then worked for several months prior to my marriage as a private investigator. It wasn’t the kind of job that requires spying on cheating husbands, though. As a PI, I researched trademarks and products that may have had conflicting names with existing trademarks and I reported on the findings. It was actually a very interesting line of work.
3. In college, I worked as a student network technician and a Unix systems administrator. I still find IT interesting, but I’m much happier doing what I do now.
4. What is it, then, that I do now? You could call me a blogger of many hats or a social media maven or Internet marketing consultant. I really don’t know, and that’s what makes what I do so exciting. The answer changes everyday!

4 Websites I Visit Daily

1. My first stop every day (and numerous other periods during the day) is my email, which is hosted on Gmail or Google Apps.
2. I consume my news via Bloglines.
3. I dabble in social media sites, particularly Twitter, Facebook, and StumbleUpon. (The other site? Not so much.)
4. Depending on the day of the week, I’m working on some sort of blog, so you can imagine that I visit many blog backends daily. (If that answer doesn’t suffice, I can assure you that I visit Google at least once daily.)

4 Favorite Foods

1. My favorite restaurant is Sara’s Pizza in Miami. They have pretty darn good pizza, but my favorite dish is their calzone, which is filled with black olives, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, sauteed onions, and green peppers. Miguel Lopez took a picture of me and the meal when we met in September.
2. I absolutely love kreplach in chicken soup (or even in vegetable soup — I can handle it anywhere!) Kreplach are like wontons, only with a much doughier outside and tastier meat inside. If you go to Mr. Broadway in Manhattan, ask for the soup. It’s awesome.
3. I’d probably say that my favorite cuisine is Indian, but probably because I never get too much of it. Prior to Austin (where I had to go outside the city in order to get Kosher food for SXSW), the last time I ate Indian food was in 2003. On that note, thank you to Jane for taking me out there to ensure I had something (great) to eat!
4. I’m a sucker for sweets, particularly if milk chocolate is the primary ingredient. Brownies, Kit-Kat, and Reese’s Cups are three of my favorite chocolate foods.

Now it’s time to tag 4 people…

1. Jane Quigley
2. Barry Schwartz
3. Jason Falls
4. Brian Solis

You can answer any of these questions: 4 Jobs I’ve had, 4 Favorite Foods, 4 TV Shows I DVR, 4 Movies I could watch Over & Over, 4 Places I’ve been, 4 Places I’ve lived, 4 Places I want to go, 4 Music Artists I’m listening to now, 4 All Time Favorite Musicians, 4 Shows I have been to, 4 Cars I have owned, 4 Things I have done in the past 4 years, 4 websites I visit daily, 4 places I’d rather be right now, 4 People I think will respond, 4 Things I look forward to this year, or 4 Underrated conversational topics. Enjoy!

[ With 4 Days Before Blogger Social, I Bring You the 4×4 Meme is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

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Awhile ago, I used Twitter to talk about one of my favorite cold remedy vitamins, Airborne. It was then that two friends suggested Zicam to me. When stocking up on medication for the winter months, the high recommendations of Zicam had me buying the oral mist.

On Sunday night, after a rather interesting Superbowl XLII, I felt the onset of a cold. As most of these cold medicines suggest, you should take the medicine at the first sign of illness. I immediately thought of my Zicam and was eager to try it out to kill the cold before it really gets bad.

Monday morning, to continue to fight off whatever this may be, I took the recommended dosage of Zicam a second time. I went on my day realizing that I had lost the sense of taste. I ate leftover nosh from the game: really spicy salsa and chips. The spiciness did not impact me. I had some Hershey Kisses. The chocolate taste was dull, as if almost not there.

For the entire day, I discounted the idea that anything would be wrong (and that it was really a cold, after all). I left it alone until late at night when the problem continued to persist. I decided to search for “zicam tastebuds.” I figured that I couldn’t possibly be the only one with this temporary (or so I hope) loss of taste. The first result alarmed me.

It was a link to a class action suit that impacts Zicam users who have lost their taste (and/or smell) by using the spray.

Normally, I’m one who fights for strong reputation management. Now, I’m a victim. If I did this search again, I can’t say I’d want that #1 result to go anywhere. Apparently, Zicam is ranked for numerous health-related concerns and I feel that the results belong where they are. The result I was looking for was relevant to my needs and is certainly something that people should know about.

For all I know, Zicam isn’t out to change their rankings. But if they were looking to make a change, I think that reputation management offerings should still exist. Personally, this is one case that I’m biased about, as it really hits home. In the past few months, I’ve dealt with companies who are unfortunate victims of bad links in Google, but those links refer to incidents that are years old (and are even resolved). The pages, however, are not removed from the Google search results because the site owners often want to be “bought.” (“Pay me some money and I’ll remove the page.”) Poor rankings kill businesses, and negative rankings destroy trust. In those cases, I strongly encourage reputation management services — but I can’t say I agree with it all the time.

The Question: What Would You Do?

What would you do if you have a client who wants you to change their rankings but their mission conflicts with your interests? What if they are trying to push down rankings that you feel are important for public safety? While I’ve asked a doctor for his opinion on my particular case (and he said it happened to him too!), if I lost my sense of taste forever, I’d want other people to know about the dangers of the medication and not to have someone who is paid off to push the results down so that people who are doing solid research will be misled.

What is more important to you? Top dollar or public safety? I’d love to hear your thoughts about these particular cases in the comments.

Update 12/11/08: I was watching TV on Monday night and saw a Zicam commercial for the first time. Sadly, since Zicam is an over the counter remedy (for now), there was no required disclaimer for side effects. There was not one mention of the possible loss of smell or loss of taste reported on numerous websites by real people (who have no relationship to one another and simply want to report on a fact and not a myth). In fact, it seems that the company does not want to acknowledge that its chemical compound may actually really have a negative impact on a small fraction of individuals.

In reputation management, you need to own up to your mistakes. If Zicam has had hundreds of complaints about loss of taste or loss of smell, they are obligated to give a warning on the package, in promotional materials, and where any consumer may stumble upon the product. Instead, though, they are choosing to remain silent. I hope that if there’s anything you can take away from this article, it’s to be unlike Zicam. Own up to your faults and mistakes. By taking a proactive stance about a flaw you have within your product offering, your constituents would be better educated about the possible risks, and chances are, these negative reports about your product would not have reached the Internet anyway because the warnings would have been staring the consumers down in the face.

Update June 19, 2009: It looks like the FDA has finally taken notice, as per SoCal Wife. Now why is it that there are still naysayers in the comments?

[ Zicam and the Reputation Management Fiasco is a post written by Tamar Weinberg. ]

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